Saturday, April 23, 2011

COMPANIONSHIP

Just when I think life is as close to perfection as can be, something in me begins to crave for romance. As a single woman about to turn 30, I'm in the middle of writing my first novel, I'm performing at venues as a singer/entertainer, and I have a single that should be coming out in about a month or so. And yet here I am, wondering when I'll find Mr. Right.

Is it natural to seek a companion? I often believe that since we were designed to procreate, then perhaps it is normal to want to have someone to share our up's and down's with. Someone to celebrate our accomplishments with, and equally feel comfortable enough to cry on their shoulder when times are hard. However, there is a thin line between wanting that soul mate, and needing that soul mate from a place of insecurity.

Can I be honest here??? I often struggle with why I feel the need to want a companion, and how to go about knowing when I've found someone suitable. Like that show, "Sex In The City," I have dated more than my share in real life. Definitely open minded, I've dated outside of my race, outside of my age bracket, and I've dated men with high incomes and with very low incomes. So I'm definitely not shallow or just looking for someone who I have every little thing in common with. I'd say I'm pretty open minded. But something is just not right. Or maybe it is just right... Maybe I'm supposed to be single right now.

I've often heard that the universe will provide you with the things you need in divine timing, and if it doesn't provide you with what you want, then it's because there's a "blockage". Well... Maybe I need to be a little more patient... Maybe I need to trust in my growth and where I'm currently at in my life... Maybe I need to appreciate the love I do receive from my relatives, friends and peers in my industry, and most importantly, the love I have for myself.

It's funny though... A relationship always seems to flourish when I least expect it. When I'm not looking and when I sure as hell don't need it, some amazing connection just pops out of nowhere! And then I go with the flow... I let nature take its course... And I get involved, only to find that months later, it wasn't meant to be because the person came into my life for a season.... Usually to teach or show me something.

Well today I am saying to myself... that...

First of all, it's human nature to seek a soul companion & that doesn't make me needy.
Secondly, I deserve to be loved in a healthy, mature & committed relationship.
Thirdly, because I know that I deserve the real thing, I will be PATIENT so when it comes, I'll be able to recognize and appreciate it.
And last but not least, instead of allowing a man to convince me that we should be together when I'm happy being single, I will be way more selective and wait as long as I have to, because in order to attract the REAL THING, I must be the REAL THING.

So here's to the REAL THING! May I attract who and what I already am, and more! *When the time is right*

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