MUSIC

I'm taking it back old school tonight; writing lyrics and singing them into a tape recorder! (Yes, they still make those!) Although last week I rehearsed with my guitar player, Fredrick the Live 1, tonight I'm picking up where we left off. I have to admit, I like creating songs from scratch without having the track already made for me. Even though it's okay to write lyrics to a beautiful instrumental, it feels better to work with live musicians on something fresh from the ground up.

Last week, it was just me and Fredrick - no one else. No pre-beat already made, no extra people hanging around to give their opinions or be a distraction, and no pressure to create a so-called "Radio Hit". (I hate those!) Thankfully, it was just us jamming out to something that came from the heart & soul. And hey... isn't that what music's all about anyway? Tonight I'll be coming up with the grand finale of the song: The bridge and the end. Can't wait for our rehearsal next week!

COMPANIONSHIP

Just when I think life is as close to perfection as can be, something in me begins to crave for romance. As a single woman about to turn 30, I'm in the middle of writing my first novel, I'm performing at venues as a singer/entertainer, and I have a single that should be coming out in about a month or so. And yet here I am, wondering when I'll find Mr. Right.

Is it natural to seek a companion? I often believe that since we were designed to procreate, then perhaps it is normal to want to have someone to share our up's and down's with. Someone to celebrate our accomplishments with, and equally feel comfortable enough to cry on their shoulder when times are hard. However, there is a thin line between wanting that soul mate, and needing that soul mate from a place of insecurity.

Can I be honest here??? I often struggle with why I feel the need to want a companion, and how to go about knowing when I've found someone suitable. Like that show, "Sex In The City," I have dated more than my share in real life. Definitely open minded, I've dated outside of my race, outside of my age bracket, and I've dated men with high incomes and with very low incomes. So I'm definitely not shallow or just looking for someone who I have every little thing in common with. I'd say I'm pretty open minded. But something is just not right. Or maybe it is just right... Maybe I'm supposed to be single right now.

I've often heard that the universe will provide you with the things you need in divine timing, and if it doesn't provide you with what you want, then it's because there's a "blockage". Well... Maybe I need to be a little more patient... Maybe I need to trust in my growth and where I'm currently at in my life... Maybe I need to appreciate the love I do receive from my relatives, friends and peers in my industry, and most importantly, the love I have for myself.

It's funny though... A relationship always seems to flourish when I least expect it. When I'm not looking and when I sure as hell don't need it, some amazing connection just pops out of nowhere! And then I go with the flow... I let nature take its course... And I get involved, only to find that months later, it wasn't meant to be because the person came into my life for a season.... Usually to teach or show me something.

Well today I am saying to myself... that...

First of all, it's human nature to seek a soul companion & that doesn't make me needy.
Secondly, I deserve to be loved in a healthy, mature & committed relationship.
Thirdly, because I know that I deserve the real thing, I will be PATIENT so when it comes, I'll be able to recognize and appreciate it.
And last but not least, instead of allowing a man to convince me that we should be together when I'm happy being single, I will be way more selective and wait as long as I have to, because in order to attract the REAL THING, I must be the REAL THING.

So here's to the REAL THING! May I attract who and what I already am, and more! *When the time is right*

WRITING IN A LOUNGE

Once again, I'm working on my novel. But today I'm doing one thing differently from what I normally do and that is... I'm writing at a cafe called, The Tea Lounge, in Park Slope Brooklyn. Usually I write at home where I'm comfortable in my cozy studio apartment accompanied by my two cats. Of course writing at home is great because I can stay in pajamas, kick my feet up on the sofa, and hit the refrigerator whenever I need a bite to eat. But today... I'm in a nice cafe.

Sometimes we need a change of atmosphere. I think this place - a step up from starbucks with tea and coffee served in real mugs - is a great place to discipline myself for more hours than usual. And the reason is because I'm not home, plus I'm surrounded by a bunch of other lap tops plugged in around me; everyone is writing something. And one thing feeds the other. ... I'm about to get lost in the zone. Story writing time...

CREEPY LITTLE doubts...

Sometimes I question why I put so much energy into my creative career because of all the sacrifices that have come with it. Between hearing people tell me that I'm wasting my youth from investing so many hours and days into a career that is extremely spontaneous instead of sticking to a secure job so I could have the weekends to myself, (planning vacations & having a normal social life) I've actually considered having a plan B. However, plan B, is beginning to sound like the word "BUT" to me.

"But what if I fail?"
"But what if I end up broke in the end?"
"But what if no one likes my projects?"

Yada, yada, yada... All of these excuses are exactly what they are: Excuses. Okay, so we all have doubts from time to time. Maybe that's normal because we're human. But the key is not to allow our fears to swallow us whole. No, because I feel that it's important for us to grow BIGGER than the fear and eventually have fear run away from us!

And that's what it's all about to me. They say that LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT, right? But no one said that pursuing your goals would be easy. However, do you want to become someone who allows things to just happen to you, or someone who decides to create the life you want without being lazy, scared, or making excuses for why it can't be done? I say, if you can't beat 'em, create a new team!

THE PERFECTIONIST

"I'm a perfectionist; fuck it! There, I said it!" LOL In this creative industry, I often hear successful people say, "Just finish your project so you have something out there, and if it's not that great, don't worry about it because no one started out with a masterpiece."

Okay, so there may be some truth to that, however, when you're passionate about your shit, you can't just put something out there just to have your name recognized. Especially, if you want your name recognized!

I'm working on my first novel. And I must say, it's been at least 2 years since I began but it's still not completed. Not even half way. (Well... about half way.) And yes, I've been working on it on and off. It hasn't been a straight two years where I wake up every single morning and get to my computer, going in deep until the wee hours of the night. No. I've held part time jobs in between, I've also freelanced some articles, made time for sex, had my heart broken, made time for more make up sex, and of course worked on my book, all the while hitting the studio to record vocals over music, plus performing live here and there throughout NYC. So in the midst of all this (not including all the social activities I've participated in even though I always say I'm going to stop going out so much to get my ass on a tight schedule) I have not come up with a solid ending for my story yet. However, something very interesting happened the other night which I found to be quite fascinating...

My girlfriend/writing coach and I went out to one of my favorite clubs called CIELO in the meat packing district and while we toasted to our successful collaboration at the open bar, she told me, "All we have is this moment; right now... And that's really all that matters; and sometimes we have to stop being so hard on ourselves and just enjoy life, the people, the laughter, and the good times, ya know? Just take a look around you. This is it!"

She's right. Because the truth is, if it wasn't for living a rich and fulfilling life, then where would the inspiration to imagine great stories, films or songs come from? Maybe there's some truth to being able to balance our professional life and personal life. Or do you think we should just work, work, work our fingers to the bone? Well, I think that if we're going to be passionate about our projects, we should also be equally as passionate about our own real life. Because in hindsight, our real life -vs- the projects that we create from imagination are interlinked.

In any case, I feel like it's okay for me to be a perfectionist as long as I allow the universe to also play its part in my work. Fore if I publish something too quick then it may not be at the level that it could've been if I would've taken just a little bit more time to give it that extra TLC that it needed: more ideas, more constructive criticism, more corrections, more vision, more love, etc. So yes, perhaps I shouldn't be so hard on myself as far as having this novel completed by yesterday. I think the same way that the greatest artist in the universe who is God decided to birth me into this world during the era in which I was meant to come into, is the same way that my gift back to this world will happen on its own divine timing. So what's the rush? I wasn't born in 1200 B.C. I was born in the early 80's and now I am a renaissance woman living in the millennium. In my mind, this had to be meant to be. I had to come into this world at a certain date to learn certain things and to effect certain things, and with respect to my souls dharma in this lifetime, I'm sure that my projects will be ready when they are meant to be ready.

And yours will too. So continue to be a perfectionist if you are one because it's better to put your best work out there instead of just any 'ol crap that will generate an income. Yes, I say give the best of yourself because after you leave this plane of existence, your work may still live on and influence other generations to come. So what kind of footprints do you want to leave behind? Half ass work with no meaning or substance? Or work that you poured your blood, sweat and tears into because you just needed to share your vision? Be and do inspiration. It's perfect.

PROFESSIONAL -VS- PERSONAL

As creative artists, how do we separate our personal life and professional life? It seems that for me, my personal experiences are indeed a major part of my professional life because it's those very emotions that fuel my desire to have to, want to, need to express them in some form or fashion.

There's a saying that goes, "If you want to be a great artist, then live a very interesting life."


I couldn't agree with that statement more. How can we write, act, dance or sing about something that we don't feel within our gut? When we go into character, shouldn't we be able to truly relate in some way? Meaning, not just through fantasy, but also because everything in life is interlinked to our human race, and what one person thinks of has already been so or can be so?

Never mind that... That's veering off topic just a little. The point is, what I go through, I write about. Maybe not exactly as non-fiction, but I do write about subjects I know. For instance, if I'm broken hearted because the love of my life just gave me a rude awakening, I cry it out in a song, describing the pain in my lyrics while allowing the passion in my vocal delivery to send a message. How else can I create? To make something up, completely foreign to me? Well, some people can do that. But not I. For me, I live my life on edge (to the most part) and exploit it. That way... after I read, see, or listen to my masterpiece, I analyze and understand it a little bit better later on. Because I never understand while I'm actually going through the process... But that doesn't mean that I let it block my creativity. In fact, sometimes it's the confusion, the darkness, and the uncertainty that births the opportunity to draw the picture through my own eyes while living in the moment - in slow motion or high speed dramatic details.

"Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're gonna get." - From the movie, FORREST GUM

CHILDREN: A Poem

Dip yourself into a pool of holy water but that will not wash away your original sin…
For it was never there to begin with…
Because all babies are divine and not one of them is dark.
Whether brown, cinnamon, golden bronze, cocoa colored or even vanilla cream,
None of them belong to Satan and will never be birthed through the canal of a woman’s river stream…

Only pearls carved out of heaven are allowed to enter earth through the gateway of a lady's essence…

Pure… innocent… guiltless …
Babies are full of endless…
Possibilities
Like empty vessels, unblocked by tainted thoughts of sexism, class, racist thoughts and bigotry, babies are clean with crystal clear energy, excited about embarking on this three dimensional journey...
with fresh ideas which originated from up above

Fore they were handcraft made by the sorcerer of miracles and universal love…
Which is more powerful than anything that the oceans depth or the earth’s crust can ever imagine or think of…

So yes, that’s right, a child’s future is absolutely limitless…
Don’t you believe?
Just look at where we really come from…

Fore children have the ability to pave a new way of life, so long as their parents don’t inject them with fear and worry by brainwashing their mind.

And even if you did have a crystal ball, who are you to lock balls and chains around the membranes of their mentality, placing shackles on their little booties so they can’t grow up to stand on their own two feet – spiritually – like the God’s and Goddesses of their supernatural family tree...

Don't you see the glory? Your children are offspring's of the most-high Kings and Queens.

Now let’s go back before the child became five or six,
Back when they were just a newborn drip
Of the universe flowing into physical existence…
Just starting to form facial features, not telling which parent they’d really take after.
When one parent held the little jewel in his arms and said, “My child is going to become a God fearing Christian…
A Lawyer or a Doctor.”

That may be fine and dandy but please remember that…AGAIN… I repeat…
A child’s future has no limitations
None whatsoever…
Except for what some lost souls may try to give them,
beating it into their heads that they shouldn’t dream because the odds of making it are against them
But more so because they are afraid
of what people will say when their child fly's away, spreading its wings through courageous transformation...

By breaking traditions, rebelling against the masses because they are natural born leaders walking through the face of danger...
All for a bunch of strangers because their love is greater than the sum of its immediate relatives, cultural distinctions and political positions...

Where some adults judge a book by its cover by viewing only surface illusions, these tiny old souls see, feel, and know *spirit*

Don't confuse them...

These children can spread a message by teaching *new* lessons, becoming the Dr. Martin Luther King’s, Gandhi’s, Oprah Winfrey’s and John Lennon’s…

Can you imagine???

A child telling you, “I wasn’t born to live a mundane existence!”

Yes, because some babies grow up and actually never forget what their life mission is, yearning to leave their footprints on earth as hero’s and legends…
Because they are in fact star children who live with purpose, passion, drive and ammunition…

Once again, let me remind you, feed you more than just a spoon, give you a dose of medicine to heal any of your own inner child’s wounds…

So here it goes, I’m about to tell you the truth…

When one door closes another one opens so when you say goodbye to a loved one who has seen the light, in no time shortly another angel in space is ready to take flight, to travel down the rabbit whole and pop up into your life…
But whether this child comes through your body or someone else’s is irrelevant,
Fore children are like the butterfly effect and we are all connected.

Written by Jasmine Clemente