Saturday, January 18, 2014



As usual, I planned my day to get the most productivity out of it but something interrupted my anticipated flow of events: my reaction to negativity.  

We all have it. It's as natural as night and day. We live in a world where gravity pulls us in opposing directions all the time and due to our free will, we yield towards one or another.

I don't know why I felt so compelled to react, but after some weeks of scrolling down my social media news feeds and reading posts that support cutting people off, being better off without fake friends, or complaining that if they're not getting back what they're giving to someone then they're going to holdback, I felt compelled to respond...

It's one thing to see one post about it, but to see it recurring over weeks and months, I found it to be an issue, and so I wrote a status that stated, "There's balance in the imbalance".

Sounds crazy right? But I tend to care about people. I really do. And because I love to see people shine at their brightest, it bothers me to see when they're letting their light dim because they're feeling hurt or unappreciated. Eventually it turns into bitterness. 

What I'd like to say is that if you're a natural born giver, you're probably a compassionate, loving person which the world needs more of. And though it can be frustrating to not receive the same amount of gifts, time, and/or affection back in return, the key is to NOT EXPECT IT. When we start expecting things to come back to us, then we kill the element of surprise. Also, if we're only giving with the intention of getting something back, then that becomes a business transaction, and not a true gift. Thus, remember that the universe works in checks & balances and always returns depts. (Karma) So never think that what you put out you won't get back. Just accept that it will come when you least expect it. But should you look or anticipate it, you will become disappointed because you will stop the air from flowing freely by becoming rigid in your thinking. And gifts should never feel "forced"; they should come from a genuine place.

Secondly, I also see posts like, fake friends are temporary and real friends are always there. Again, why become bitter because life naturally takes people in different directions? Just because someone is not available as often as they used to be, doesn't mean that they were never a good friend to begin with, or that they're fake for reprioritizing their time. Change is as normal as a baby growing teeth and as a senior citizen losing them. The key to healthy relationships is freedom, and we all have different lessons to learn, different paths to walk, and different reasons for doing what we do. At the moment you make a person feel obligated to reach out to you, it then becomes a chore instead of a joy. Don't give them an ultimatum to stay or to leave the friendship/relationship because they'll probably leave to join less domineering circumstances. 

Thirdly, don't knock others just to make yourself feel better on social media. Like attracts like, so just because your Facebook status gathers a bunch of "LIKES" doesn't mean it isn't negative. You're just attracting similar people who share your sentiments, but who says they're operating from the freedom to love unconditionally & non judgmentally? At the end of the day, it's everyone's prerogative to do what they feel, but I tend to believe that because everyone is different, we shouldn't try to control the need for people to think, say, feel, and do the same things we do. I say, let it flow....

If you're hurt because some friends are not as close to you as they used to be, then express how you miss them, or express how you can't wait to cross paths with them again when life presents the opportunity. But don't jump to the conclusion that they're fake because you feel that they owe you more then they're able to give at the moment. Also, if you're a giver and you're feeling unappreciated, then maybe it's time for your giving nature to be accepted by people who have a deeper need. (And be careful not to give solely because you enjoy feeling needed. That can happen when you begin being praised so much that you attach yourself to the identity of being The One That Everyone Depends On) Although it's a great feeling to be acknowledged, don't do it for the rewards. Give because it brings you joy to give, and then you'll never feel disappointed. Thus, if you start holding back out of resentment, it will hurt you more then it does anyone else because you're not living from your authentic core. 

The moral of the story is to allow people to be who they are by accepting the fact that there is more balance in the imbalance. How? Because if everything matched at a perfectly equal amount of give and take, then we'd never GROW. We'd stop where we are because we'd be so satisfied with the equilibrium that they'd be no reason to stretch our emotional or spiritual muscles. So trust in the universe and open yourself to the diversity of it all. 

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