THE PERFECTIONIST

"I'm a perfectionist; fuck it! There, I said it!" LOL In this creative industry, I often hear successful people say, "Just finish your project so you have something out there, and if it's not that great, don't worry about it because no one started out with a masterpiece."

Okay, so there may be some truth to that, however, when you're passionate about your shit, you can't just put something out there just to have your name recognized. Especially, if you want your name recognized!

I'm working on my first novel. And I must say, it's been at least 2 years since I began but it's still not completed. Not even half way. (Well... about half way.) And yes, I've been working on it on and off. It hasn't been a straight two years where I wake up every single morning and get to my computer, going in deep until the wee hours of the night. No. I've held part time jobs in between, I've also freelanced some articles, made time for sex, had my heart broken, made time for more make up sex, and of course worked on my book, all the while hitting the studio to record vocals over music, plus performing live here and there throughout NYC. So in the midst of all this (not including all the social activities I've participated in even though I always say I'm going to stop going out so much to get my ass on a tight schedule) I have not come up with a solid ending for my story yet. However, something very interesting happened the other night which I found to be quite fascinating...

My girlfriend/writing coach and I went out to one of my favorite clubs called CIELO in the meat packing district and while we toasted to our successful collaboration at the open bar, she told me, "All we have is this moment; right now... And that's really all that matters; and sometimes we have to stop being so hard on ourselves and just enjoy life, the people, the laughter, and the good times, ya know? Just take a look around you. This is it!"

She's right. Because the truth is, if it wasn't for living a rich and fulfilling life, then where would the inspiration to imagine great stories, films or songs come from? Maybe there's some truth to being able to balance our professional life and personal life. Or do you think we should just work, work, work our fingers to the bone? Well, I think that if we're going to be passionate about our projects, we should also be equally as passionate about our own real life. Because in hindsight, our real life -vs- the projects that we create from imagination are interlinked.

In any case, I feel like it's okay for me to be a perfectionist as long as I allow the universe to also play its part in my work. Fore if I publish something too quick then it may not be at the level that it could've been if I would've taken just a little bit more time to give it that extra TLC that it needed: more ideas, more constructive criticism, more corrections, more vision, more love, etc. So yes, perhaps I shouldn't be so hard on myself as far as having this novel completed by yesterday. I think the same way that the greatest artist in the universe who is God decided to birth me into this world during the era in which I was meant to come into, is the same way that my gift back to this world will happen on its own divine timing. So what's the rush? I wasn't born in 1200 B.C. I was born in the early 80's and now I am a renaissance woman living in the millennium. In my mind, this had to be meant to be. I had to come into this world at a certain date to learn certain things and to effect certain things, and with respect to my souls dharma in this lifetime, I'm sure that my projects will be ready when they are meant to be ready.

And yours will too. So continue to be a perfectionist if you are one because it's better to put your best work out there instead of just any 'ol crap that will generate an income. Yes, I say give the best of yourself because after you leave this plane of existence, your work may still live on and influence other generations to come. So what kind of footprints do you want to leave behind? Half ass work with no meaning or substance? Or work that you poured your blood, sweat and tears into because you just needed to share your vision? Be and do inspiration. It's perfect.