TANGO

I take tango lessons with Jak Karakoa at Pearl Studios in Manhattan. One of the best teachers to have!

WRITING MY FIRST NOVEL

I didn't think that writing a book would be easy, but I didn't think that it would be this hard either - for me, at least. For some people, they can complete a novel within six months. (Like Stephen King) But aside from the greats, everyone has their own style and way of creating art. Yes, writing a book is definitely ART.

Today I have gone all the way back to rewriting my first chapter. (So far I have about ten chapters completed) And while I've gone back, I realized that rewriting is the BEST part because you get to really have fun with your characters. You see, the first stage of writing is having the idea in your head and convincing yourself that even though you've never written a book before, you're going to do it! Then the second thing, is actually writing. But as we all know, writers tend to write alot because we can't help it. Although this is a good thing, we have to remember that audiences get bored quickly, so we have to make sure to cut out all the extra fat. This means that we have to stick to the main points and not be too descriptive because it's more about the juice in the story than it is about the background. We don't need to know how long someone was walking in the woods for - what kinds of trees they passed and animals they saw. A few details are perfect because the reader wants to feel like they are IN the story, but if we focus too much on all that description, the reader will lose interest because they just want to know - what happens next!

So it's all about enhancing drama; and making your characters "rememberable" and "unique". Get to the punch line. Write the most important things down and then move on. Look at me... Writing an almost "self-help" manual on how to write your first novel. Lol Well, I've read enough of those books from "The Complete Idiot's Guide To Writing Your First Novel" to "Writing Your First Novel For Dummies." And let me tell you, there's nothing better than simplicity.

Another great piece of advice to give, if I may, is that I have a writing coach. Actually, a few writing coaches. 3 to be exact. And I truly believe that having writing coaches are the best thing to invest your time, money and energy into when you're serious about a writing project. In fact, this is the real reason that I'm working on my first chapter again. I received great feedback from one of my writing coaches who gave me tips on how to tighten up the first chapter which I do believe, is the most important part of the story because that's what's going to hook your readers in. So yes, have as many extra eyes read your work as possible before you send it off to print. Because once it's printed, you can't change it. And if you're anything like me, then you're a perfectionist! Wanting to put your best foot out there even if it's your first time around. I mean, as long as something has my name on it, I want it to be the best that I could give at that time.

AN OPEN MIC celebrating Latin & Caribbean Cultures

During the first week of March, a friend of mine invited me to an open mic event called CAPICU held in Brooklyn's Notice Lounge which is organized by Latin Activists. It was my first time there, and while I was experiencing a break up, I made the most of my time - It indeed lifted my spirits. Without being prepared to perform, I decided to freestyle whatever I felt in my heart at the moment. So when they called my name up to the stage, I shut my eyes and began singing silky adlibs until a few words just slipped out of my vocal chords.

Realizing that most artists performed pieces that remained within the caribbean theme of our culture, ancestors, and community issues, I veered off into a different direction by singing about my formless spirit inside. I got a few whistles and great reactions from the crowd, however, they were light and very few. In fact, I knew as I was expressing these lyrics that came from up above, everyone in the room was paying attention to every detail, every word, and every emotion as I delivered it soulfully. When I finished, I received loud claps, and as the host came up to grab the mic from my hands, she lovingly joked, "I felt like I was back in church for a second."

Each and every person who went up to share a piece was amazing! (My honest opinion.) Most of them were spoken word artists, some were poets, but I believe I may have been the only singer that night. Every piece honored our history, and some exposed the negative stereotypes of Latin culture as well as the positives. In any case, it felt really good to be a part of such an amazing show that highlighted people who want their voices to be heard in such a talented, dramatic and creative fashion. I look forward to appearing there again... Hopefully next time, I'll stick to the theme which celebrates my fabulous, cultural roots.

TOLERATED or CELEBRATED?

"Do not go to a place where you are tolerated, go to a place where you are CELEBRATED."

I heard someone say that quote once and although I can't remember who said it, I do remember that it came from a preacher or a motivational speaker. In any case... I never forgot that quote. Never.

What it made me realize is that sometimes we go places or do certain things that we're not really passionate or excited about. Why is that? (And I'm not talking about throwing out the garbage or washing the dishes) Lol But why do we go to certain places when we know deep down inside that we really should be somewhere else? Do we go out of obligation, or because we've been conditioned to believing that this is the way it is?

I finally decided to be the captain of my ship, the driver of my future, the boss of my own life. And in doing so, I came up with this:

Sometimes we don't do well in a certain place because we are supposed to move to another state or even another country. Think of it this way. If you're fishing in a lake but there are hardly any fish to catch, maybe you need to go to another lake where there are plenty more. In other words, don't stay stuck in an environment hoping for things to change. Sometimes, the solution is for you to go somewhere else where there is more opportunity for growth. (And that can be as simple as changing jobs or moving into a new neighborhood; you don't necessarily have to move out of the state) If you are experiencing any type of financial drought or loss of energy, it may be because God is trying to tell you something. When you are in the "place" where you belong, all kinds of blessings will occur. So don't stay somewhere that is not benefitting you abundantly and triumphantly. Leave that place and travel to a new land where you will blossom tremendously. Where the people, places and things will not only accept you, but will love you and add to your spiritual expansion.

By the way, keep this in mind: Polar Bears wouldn't survive in Puerto Rico any more than Alligators would survive in the North Pole. Therefore, if animals instinctively know that they thrive in certain environments, then humans should know that too. But humans are just a little more complex than animals are, given our brain to weigh out options and exercise our free will, and so it's not enough to just be where we are. We have to think, analyze, and "decide" upon where we will walk towards.

In a nutshell, ladies and gentlemen, don't settle with just a satisfactory life. Of course you should count your blessings because it can always be worst. But the key is to APPRECIATE what you do have, and then BUILD upon growing more. I mean, the world is always spinning, time is always ticking, and things are always changing. The question is, do you want to go where you are celebrated so that you can grow with God's plan for your life, or do you want to go where you are only tolerated and just watch life pass you by?

A JEWRICAN?

I was baptized, raised Catholic, and went to Sunday school. But after my 2nd grade communion, talks about The Bible stopped in my house. Maybe it was because by the time I was in third grade, my parents divorced; maybe not. Although I don't remember what the real reason was, all I know is that my parents were never big on enforcing their religious points of views on me.

Nonetheless, it wasn't until my freshman year of College that I was reintroduced to the Christian faith through a friend on campus. He was very passionate about recruiting me, so I went just once and saw a few people speaking in tongues by the alter. I was shocked. People were crying frantically, falling to the ground, jumping and shouting songs of praise. I can't lie; it freaked me out, so I left and never returned.

However, now that I think about it... The reason I went was because I had an encounter with an evil spirit. (Or at least it had felt that way) I remember being chased down the street by a black shadow. In fact, it was so close that I just about felt it on my back. And yet every time I turned around, nothing was there. I knew that I wasn't imagining it... It felt too real. I thought that by the time I'd make it to the train station, I'd be rid of it, but I was wrong. When I got on the train, It got on with me. (I'm not making this up) This spirit, or entity, or whatever one wishes to call it, actually followed me the whole way home. I remember calling my ex-boyfriend to rush over. And I don't know why, but thank god he believed me!

So that was the reason for my friend wanting to recruit me into his Christian faith, which was a little bit different than being Catholic because he was specifically a Born Again. Yet as I've mentioned earlier, visiting his church didn't feel right to me, so I left.

A few years later, I decided to go to "Times Square Church". I don't exactly remember what prompted me to attend, but I remember being about twenty two years old or so, and I just needed to seek spiritual guidance. Well, the choir was amazing! And the preaching hit my gut most of the time. I did indeed feel a powerful presence, but after about three or four months of attending church, there were just a few things missing for me.

I definitely believed in a higher power, (and still do) and I definitely believed that all human beings were born with a divine purpose. We weren't created just to exist, but we were placed here with an assignment, and we know what that assignment is by the pain we feel because if it stirs our hearts, then that is what we are here to fix/solve. But if we don't care about something, than it is not really our place to help in that specific situation. (You can't force someone to care about something.) However, there are certain people who feel compelled to do certain things. In fact, they become obsessed about completing the task. Well, that's called our dharma. And in the Christian faith, they definitely talk about the individual missions that God lays out for us. In other words, there is a special job that is inscribed inside all of our hearts by God, and that is the work in which we are called forth to do while we live on this planet.

But then there were other things that didn't quite make sense to me, such as adopting the belief that if I just accept Jesus Christ as my personal savior, then I would be forgiven for all of my sins and accepted into the Kingdom of heaven. That one I didn't buy. I did however, believe that Jesus Christ existed and was crucified. I do believe that he was chosen, or appointed by God to fulfill his mission of being an enlightened prophet who would lead the people out of mental & spiritual slavery. But I did not believe that accepting him "alone" would be enough for all of my sins to be forgiven. In fact, I had a hard time believing that if I didn't accept him as my lord and savior, that I would be doomed to an eternity in a place called Hell... However...

Due to my encounter a few years ago of being chased down a city block by an invisible entity, I do believe that evil does exist. Not only because of that incident, but I've had others before and after. Although not all of them were bad, some were good. I've had dreamt of things that have come to pass, visions I guess one might call them, and I've seen how God works through people, giving me blessings through certain opportunities. However, with everything that I've mentioned about good and evil, I just could not, for the life of me, believe that Jesus Christ was God's only son. I thought that we were all his children.

Finally I asked this question... "Why did the church I attend usually read from the "New Testament" but not the "Old Testament"?

It was the "Old Testament" that I became more interested about because the "New Testament" seemed to be written by men. I know that they say the bible was written by God, but of course a human hand had to take action while the inspiration poured in through their minds and fingers. However, something about the "Old Testament" seemed more ancient and sacred to me. A little less untouched and changed by the generations. You've all heard the story about... Adam & Eve.

It was these things that I wanted to learn about. That's when I learned that my quest for spiritual knowledge begun to shift into Judaism. I didn't realize this until a friend of mine told me, "If you believe in God and that we are all connected, and you like going to Church but you just don't believe in original sin or that Jesus Christ is your personal savior, well then, you're a Jew."

I had never thought of it that way before. But then again, what do I know about being Jewish? I was baptized as a Catholic. In any case, I guess just like anything else in life, everything is a mystery. Who would really, truly, and honestly, have ALL of the answers to everything??? And even if we all read the Old & New Testament, don't people still have difficulty understanding the bible, or much less, agreeing on the meaning of its proper perspective?

I still do believe that life is a journey and that where our hearts propel us to go is the right way. I also believe that if we pray sincerely, then God, or our "higher" power, will speak to us in whichever way we can understand, be it Spanish, Chinese, English, or through our faith. For these religions are channels that connect us to a higher source of universal love, but it is up to us to remain open and clear so that we may allow it to fill us up with its radiant energy of truth, love and light.

Thus, as I continue on my path as a creative artist, (since this is the lifestyle I chose) I continue to seek God's internal guidance through my intuition that will prompt me to do the work that I have been called here to do. Till next time...

Baruch HaShem'

STAY FOCUSED

I'm in my late twenties. I've been singing since I was a child but I've stopped in between. In fact, I remember giving up at twenty three years old because I was told by certain individuals that I needed to snap out of it and quit dreaming. And you know what I did? I listened to them...but only for a short while.

What happened was I ended up going back and forth, becoming wishy-washy. One minute I was confident, and the next I had doubts. I'd say to myself, "Maybe they're right. Maybe I should just focus on landing a steady day job and remaining committed to it." So I jumped from different part time jobs until I found a full time position with decent pay. Once I worked as a concierge for a Hotel in Manhattan, and then eventually I worked for an upscale spa. Basically, I remained in the "Customer Service" field for a couple of years. It started to feel extremely weird to me though, like I had begun forming an almost split personality because during the day I had to act "professional" on the job but at night I was dressing up like a diva and singing my heart out on stage. Who was I? I began to wonder. In juggling both lifestyles, one of them began to suffer; I had to make a choice.

Through all of my confusion, doubts and fears... I ended up leaving my day job for good to pursue my creative ventures all the way. There's more to the story that I'm leaving out, but the point of this blog entry is that although I'm pretty sure that things happen for a reason, I'm also a firm believer that we have more power than we give ourselves credit for. As people, we have to believe that our power lies within our free will to "CHOOSE." So regardless of who told me to quit and give up, it was still ultimately my choice as to whether or not I'd take their advice in the first place. Yet still, I listened to them and let their fears become mine. And all that did to me was make me steer in different directions until eventually I became so sick and tired of the merry go rounds that I just stuck with a final decision! Through the good, the bad and the ugly... I finally stayed on my creative course as a performer and freelancer!

And you know what I'm learning? That whether or not I would've remained at a day job or remained on my freelance path as an "Artist", both lifestyles have bumps on the road. Neither one of them are perfect or so called 'safe.' So in that respect, why give up on your dreams just because people tell you to be "Realistic"? And besides, who in the hell said that being a "Dreamer" was negative anyway? Should none of us have a 'Vision'? I mean, even being "realistic" gets you into trouble because as we're all slowly learning, nothing is secure these days anyway, especially when the laws are constantly changing along with social security, retirement aid, health insurance, etc. Now I'm not suggesting that life's a bitch and then you die... but I am saying that no matter what you decide to do in life, there will always be lessons to learn and some of them are not easy. So, if we're all going to encounter hardships along the way, then why not at least do something that we have a passion for?

So please, DON'T waste your early years on trying to please other people regardless of who they are to you. Don't become wishy-washy with your decisions because you feel guilty, or because you start having second thoughts about your capabilities. Just make a decision and stick with it. And don't worry... it's more about the journey than it is the destination anyway, so enjoy your life! Besides, no one else gets to live inside your skin but you! And remember, if you feel something telling you to become something in your gut, then follow your intuition above all other voices!

THE PROCESS

Patience is a virtue. This is because realistically, we can't just get what we want at the SNAP OF A FINGER. It actually takes "action" to make our dreams come true. See... I hear why certain people advise about not getting caught up in a dream that won't materialize, however, that is because if one doesn't take "action", then it will remain just a desirable vision and/or wish. But for those who understand "The Law of Attraction," we know that we will attract the right situations into our lives according to what we put out into the universe. Therefore, whatever it is that you want to become or do... just DO IT... and you will attract other individuals who are on the same frequency that you are on, hence, the right opportunities will arise.

Now, sometimes people become "over night successes" but sometimes they don't. Sometimes it just takes a little longer...Like ten or twenty years longer! But does that mean you give up? HELL NO. You have your whole life to live, so at what age are you saying that you would like to die?

Today I am working on three different songs. What I do is... I work on each for about two hours. Usually I write lyrics at night, but today I'm starting in the afternoon. I also decided to take a break and write this down because I know that there will be someone like me one day... or maybe a few... who will feel overwhelmed by external voices from other people saying, "Don't do it", "It's a waste of time", "You'll end up broke", "There's too much competition", etc, etc... And you may begin to have doubts, fears, and second thoughts about going the full distance because you don't want to look like a fool.

Well I've got news for you. PAY YOUR DUES.

You know how people go to College to become Doctors, lawyers, teachers, etc... but while they're there, they take an internship that pays nothing or just offers college credit? Well, in the beginning, many artists have to take a lot of nonpaying jobs just to get their foot into the door too; so there's not much of a significant difference between college students and struggling artists. Sometimes you might get into a magazine that doesn't pay, or be an extra on a major film set that only ends up showing a thirty second clip of your side profile that nobody even notices. The same way that interns begin by doing the basics such as making coffee for the big boss, filing and faxing, filtering all those annoying incoming calls just to say, "The Boss is in the middle of a meeting right now. So Can I please take a message?" Well, what their doing is... They're paying their dues. So go ahead... if you want to make it in show business, go out there and hustle. Record your demos, appear on music video sets, get into commercials, be a background vocalist for someone else on tour, or write those songs in the middle of the night when inspiration begins to spark.

The point is... JUST DO IT!

There is a process to becoming successful. Even people who are happy at their 9 to 5 jobs; They too understand that they must save money in order to purchase their own house so they won't have to pay rent all of their lives, but it still takes time. So don't beat yourself up if things don't happen immediately. The point is, that this is YOUR life and no one is going to be having the same thoughts that YOU will have when you're on your death bed. And believe me, you don't want to lay there and have the "should'a, could'a, would'as." Just think... Imagine if Jennifer Lopez, Hillary Swank, Barack Obama, and Leonardo DiCaprio never pursued their dreams? Imagine if Gloria Estefan never rebelled in her early twenties to become part of the "Miami Sound Machine"? Maybe that opened up a door for Jennifer Lopez as an in-demand, hot Latina in the entertainment industry... We know that the Mexican singer, Selena's role did.

Okay, so here I am... completing one song, and then I'm going to work on the second one. Hopefully by tonight I'll be on my third. However... it doesn't mean that these songs will be PERFECTED tonight. But what I am doing is, I am starting the process so when I go into the studio next week, I have ideas to work with. Then, on this coming Sunday, November 7th 2010, I will be recording a music video for "Lotus Flower."

So you see... I'm doing what I have dreamt of doing, and as I go along, my music will enhance, the videos will enhance, the money will grow, and other opportunities will arise. But the important thing is to keep going. So regardless of what people tell you, don't give up on yourself -unless of course, you're a toxic drug abuser! Those kinds of habits you quit, but not this - not what you were born to do.

AS A MATTER OF FACT.... Watch this clip below. Trust me... Would I steer you wrong?