A JEWRICAN?

I was baptized, raised Catholic, and went to Sunday school. But after my 2nd grade communion, talks about The Bible stopped in my house. Maybe it was because by the time I was in third grade, my parents divorced; maybe not. Although I don't remember what the real reason was, all I know is that my parents were never big on enforcing their religious points of views on me.

Nonetheless, it wasn't until my freshman year of College that I was reintroduced to the Christian faith through a friend on campus. He was very passionate about recruiting me, so I went just once and saw a few people speaking in tongues by the alter. I was shocked. People were crying frantically, falling to the ground, jumping and shouting songs of praise. I can't lie; it freaked me out, so I left and never returned.

However, now that I think about it... The reason I went was because I had an encounter with an evil spirit. (Or at least it had felt that way) I remember being chased down the street by a black shadow. In fact, it was so close that I just about felt it on my back. And yet every time I turned around, nothing was there. I knew that I wasn't imagining it... It felt too real. I thought that by the time I'd make it to the train station, I'd be rid of it, but I was wrong. When I got on the train, It got on with me. (I'm not making this up) This spirit, or entity, or whatever one wishes to call it, actually followed me the whole way home. I remember calling my ex-boyfriend to rush over. And I don't know why, but thank god he believed me!

So that was the reason for my friend wanting to recruit me into his Christian faith, which was a little bit different than being Catholic because he was specifically a Born Again. Yet as I've mentioned earlier, visiting his church didn't feel right to me, so I left.

A few years later, I decided to go to "Times Square Church". I don't exactly remember what prompted me to attend, but I remember being about twenty two years old or so, and I just needed to seek spiritual guidance. Well, the choir was amazing! And the preaching hit my gut most of the time. I did indeed feel a powerful presence, but after about three or four months of attending church, there were just a few things missing for me.

I definitely believed in a higher power, (and still do) and I definitely believed that all human beings were born with a divine purpose. We weren't created just to exist, but we were placed here with an assignment, and we know what that assignment is by the pain we feel because if it stirs our hearts, then that is what we are here to fix/solve. But if we don't care about something, than it is not really our place to help in that specific situation. (You can't force someone to care about something.) However, there are certain people who feel compelled to do certain things. In fact, they become obsessed about completing the task. Well, that's called our dharma. And in the Christian faith, they definitely talk about the individual missions that God lays out for us. In other words, there is a special job that is inscribed inside all of our hearts by God, and that is the work in which we are called forth to do while we live on this planet.

But then there were other things that didn't quite make sense to me, such as adopting the belief that if I just accept Jesus Christ as my personal savior, then I would be forgiven for all of my sins and accepted into the Kingdom of heaven. That one I didn't buy. I did however, believe that Jesus Christ existed and was crucified. I do believe that he was chosen, or appointed by God to fulfill his mission of being an enlightened prophet who would lead the people out of mental & spiritual slavery. But I did not believe that accepting him "alone" would be enough for all of my sins to be forgiven. In fact, I had a hard time believing that if I didn't accept him as my lord and savior, that I would be doomed to an eternity in a place called Hell... However...

Due to my encounter a few years ago of being chased down a city block by an invisible entity, I do believe that evil does exist. Not only because of that incident, but I've had others before and after. Although not all of them were bad, some were good. I've had dreamt of things that have come to pass, visions I guess one might call them, and I've seen how God works through people, giving me blessings through certain opportunities. However, with everything that I've mentioned about good and evil, I just could not, for the life of me, believe that Jesus Christ was God's only son. I thought that we were all his children.

Finally I asked this question... "Why did the church I attend usually read from the "New Testament" but not the "Old Testament"?

It was the "Old Testament" that I became more interested about because the "New Testament" seemed to be written by men. I know that they say the bible was written by God, but of course a human hand had to take action while the inspiration poured in through their minds and fingers. However, something about the "Old Testament" seemed more ancient and sacred to me. A little less untouched and changed by the generations. You've all heard the story about... Adam & Eve.

It was these things that I wanted to learn about. That's when I learned that my quest for spiritual knowledge begun to shift into Judaism. I didn't realize this until a friend of mine told me, "If you believe in God and that we are all connected, and you like going to Church but you just don't believe in original sin or that Jesus Christ is your personal savior, well then, you're a Jew."

I had never thought of it that way before. But then again, what do I know about being Jewish? I was baptized as a Catholic. In any case, I guess just like anything else in life, everything is a mystery. Who would really, truly, and honestly, have ALL of the answers to everything??? And even if we all read the Old & New Testament, don't people still have difficulty understanding the bible, or much less, agreeing on the meaning of its proper perspective?

I still do believe that life is a journey and that where our hearts propel us to go is the right way. I also believe that if we pray sincerely, then God, or our "higher" power, will speak to us in whichever way we can understand, be it Spanish, Chinese, English, or through our faith. For these religions are channels that connect us to a higher source of universal love, but it is up to us to remain open and clear so that we may allow it to fill us up with its radiant energy of truth, love and light.

Thus, as I continue on my path as a creative artist, (since this is the lifestyle I chose) I continue to seek God's internal guidance through my intuition that will prompt me to do the work that I have been called here to do. Till next time...

Baruch HaShem'

STAY FOCUSED

I'm in my late twenties. I've been singing since I was a child but I've stopped in between. In fact, I remember giving up at twenty three years old because I was told by certain individuals that I needed to snap out of it and quit dreaming. And you know what I did? I listened to them...but only for a short while.

What happened was I ended up going back and forth, becoming wishy-washy. One minute I was confident, and the next I had doubts. I'd say to myself, "Maybe they're right. Maybe I should just focus on landing a steady day job and remaining committed to it." So I jumped from different part time jobs until I found a full time position with decent pay. Once I worked as a concierge for a Hotel in Manhattan, and then eventually I worked for an upscale spa. Basically, I remained in the "Customer Service" field for a couple of years. It started to feel extremely weird to me though, like I had begun forming an almost split personality because during the day I had to act "professional" on the job but at night I was dressing up like a diva and singing my heart out on stage. Who was I? I began to wonder. In juggling both lifestyles, one of them began to suffer; I had to make a choice.

Through all of my confusion, doubts and fears... I ended up leaving my day job for good to pursue my creative ventures all the way. There's more to the story that I'm leaving out, but the point of this blog entry is that although I'm pretty sure that things happen for a reason, I'm also a firm believer that we have more power than we give ourselves credit for. As people, we have to believe that our power lies within our free will to "CHOOSE." So regardless of who told me to quit and give up, it was still ultimately my choice as to whether or not I'd take their advice in the first place. Yet still, I listened to them and let their fears become mine. And all that did to me was make me steer in different directions until eventually I became so sick and tired of the merry go rounds that I just stuck with a final decision! Through the good, the bad and the ugly... I finally stayed on my creative course as a performer and freelancer!

And you know what I'm learning? That whether or not I would've remained at a day job or remained on my freelance path as an "Artist", both lifestyles have bumps on the road. Neither one of them are perfect or so called 'safe.' So in that respect, why give up on your dreams just because people tell you to be "Realistic"? And besides, who in the hell said that being a "Dreamer" was negative anyway? Should none of us have a 'Vision'? I mean, even being "realistic" gets you into trouble because as we're all slowly learning, nothing is secure these days anyway, especially when the laws are constantly changing along with social security, retirement aid, health insurance, etc. Now I'm not suggesting that life's a bitch and then you die... but I am saying that no matter what you decide to do in life, there will always be lessons to learn and some of them are not easy. So, if we're all going to encounter hardships along the way, then why not at least do something that we have a passion for?

So please, DON'T waste your early years on trying to please other people regardless of who they are to you. Don't become wishy-washy with your decisions because you feel guilty, or because you start having second thoughts about your capabilities. Just make a decision and stick with it. And don't worry... it's more about the journey than it is the destination anyway, so enjoy your life! Besides, no one else gets to live inside your skin but you! And remember, if you feel something telling you to become something in your gut, then follow your intuition above all other voices!

THE PROCESS

Patience is a virtue. This is because realistically, we can't just get what we want at the SNAP OF A FINGER. It actually takes "action" to make our dreams come true. See... I hear why certain people advise about not getting caught up in a dream that won't materialize, however, that is because if one doesn't take "action", then it will remain just a desirable vision and/or wish. But for those who understand "The Law of Attraction," we know that we will attract the right situations into our lives according to what we put out into the universe. Therefore, whatever it is that you want to become or do... just DO IT... and you will attract other individuals who are on the same frequency that you are on, hence, the right opportunities will arise.

Now, sometimes people become "over night successes" but sometimes they don't. Sometimes it just takes a little longer...Like ten or twenty years longer! But does that mean you give up? HELL NO. You have your whole life to live, so at what age are you saying that you would like to die?

Today I am working on three different songs. What I do is... I work on each for about two hours. Usually I write lyrics at night, but today I'm starting in the afternoon. I also decided to take a break and write this down because I know that there will be someone like me one day... or maybe a few... who will feel overwhelmed by external voices from other people saying, "Don't do it", "It's a waste of time", "You'll end up broke", "There's too much competition", etc, etc... And you may begin to have doubts, fears, and second thoughts about going the full distance because you don't want to look like a fool.

Well I've got news for you. PAY YOUR DUES.

You know how people go to College to become Doctors, lawyers, teachers, etc... but while they're there, they take an internship that pays nothing or just offers college credit? Well, in the beginning, many artists have to take a lot of nonpaying jobs just to get their foot into the door too; so there's not much of a significant difference between college students and struggling artists. Sometimes you might get into a magazine that doesn't pay, or be an extra on a major film set that only ends up showing a thirty second clip of your side profile that nobody even notices. The same way that interns begin by doing the basics such as making coffee for the big boss, filing and faxing, filtering all those annoying incoming calls just to say, "The Boss is in the middle of a meeting right now. So Can I please take a message?" Well, what their doing is... They're paying their dues. So go ahead... if you want to make it in show business, go out there and hustle. Record your demos, appear on music video sets, get into commercials, be a background vocalist for someone else on tour, or write those songs in the middle of the night when inspiration begins to spark.

The point is... JUST DO IT!

There is a process to becoming successful. Even people who are happy at their 9 to 5 jobs; They too understand that they must save money in order to purchase their own house so they won't have to pay rent all of their lives, but it still takes time. So don't beat yourself up if things don't happen immediately. The point is, that this is YOUR life and no one is going to be having the same thoughts that YOU will have when you're on your death bed. And believe me, you don't want to lay there and have the "should'a, could'a, would'as." Just think... Imagine if Jennifer Lopez, Hillary Swank, Barack Obama, and Leonardo DiCaprio never pursued their dreams? Imagine if Gloria Estefan never rebelled in her early twenties to become part of the "Miami Sound Machine"? Maybe that opened up a door for Jennifer Lopez as an in-demand, hot Latina in the entertainment industry... We know that the Mexican singer, Selena's role did.

Okay, so here I am... completing one song, and then I'm going to work on the second one. Hopefully by tonight I'll be on my third. However... it doesn't mean that these songs will be PERFECTED tonight. But what I am doing is, I am starting the process so when I go into the studio next week, I have ideas to work with. Then, on this coming Sunday, November 7th 2010, I will be recording a music video for "Lotus Flower."

So you see... I'm doing what I have dreamt of doing, and as I go along, my music will enhance, the videos will enhance, the money will grow, and other opportunities will arise. But the important thing is to keep going. So regardless of what people tell you, don't give up on yourself -unless of course, you're a toxic drug abuser! Those kinds of habits you quit, but not this - not what you were born to do.

AS A MATTER OF FACT.... Watch this clip below. Trust me... Would I steer you wrong?

CHOICE

How powerful are we really? "Choice" makes a huge difference as to where we end up in life but sometimes our choices are limited. This is true, but what I want to express to you is that we can either make empowering choices that will lead to our e x p a n s i o n or we can make poor choices that can keep us bounded by someone else's idea of rules and obligations. Thus, sometimes when we make poor choices, they lead us into all kinds of trouble such as getting thrown into jail, getting evicted, getting dumped, getting fired, etc... and all of these things take away our freedom, our happiness, and our sense of self worth.

For example, there are times when we know that walking away from a negative situation would be best, and yet still we charge right into it head first like a raging bull, and then have the nerve to complain when things get even worst. Ladies and gentleman, "Fools rush in where wise men fear to tread."

So take your time... Practice patience. Think before you act. Cause if not, relationships can break, reputations can become tarnished, and wounds can grow deeper.

We are powerful beings, simply because at every moment we have the free will to chose our actions that will either "transform" us into something greater, or keep us at the same level which eventually takes us back because "life" is always evolving whether we keep up with it or not. However, regardless of the time it takes to enhance our state of being, the point is that we can build ourselves up. So why wait until things get so bad that we end up imprisoned behind a cell wall with nothing to do except think about what we could've, should've, would've done? (And I mean this metaphorically)

We all know what we have to do. "With great power comes great responsibility." So let's be responsible for creating greatness in our lives.

Remember that you always have the power to make effective decisions. Yes, you! You must trust yourself, and please, for the love of God, do not make decisions based on how "other" people will receive you. In other words, don't make your choices based out of peer pressure which constitutes for pleasing family members, neighbors, churches and/or religious organizations, coworkers and friends, etc... Now I'm not suggesting that you shouldn't value their opinions because no man is an island. We are all connected and should respect one another's thoughts. (There is a great deal of what we can learn from one another) but what I am encouraging is for you to stay still enough to listen to your own inner guidance. Because that's the thing; people can give great advice with the best of intentions, but it is YOU who has to sleep with YOU every night. Therefore, it is YOU who must feel good about your decisions because you are the only person living in your own skin. Remember that everyone has their own path; and you have yours. Don't confuse the two.

Keep yourself aligned with your creator by acknowledging the fact that your free will is a gift. You have the power to chose what to say, what to do, and who to connect with every day. You can grow closer to certain individuals and you can also distance yourself from them. It is all a matter of choice. Choose wisely.

THE FOUNDATION

Before I ever received my first pay check for doing something "creative," whether it was singing live at a show, modeling or writing an article as a journalist, some people tried to convince me that I was just a dreamer who entertained my 'hobbies'. Now just imagine if I would've adopted that mentality? I never would've evolved into taking my skills to the next level because I would've remained at the bottom. But here's what's really important: The time you spend at the bottom is the time you should be investing into building your foundation! And so in that respect, make sure that your foundation is strong because later on when your creative challenges become even tougher, you'll need that foundation to fall back on.

Now I'm not talking about having a plan B, or doing something completely unrelated to what you love. I'm talking about getting your mind right, creating an LLC if need be, aligning forces with the kind of people WHO DO SUPPORT YOUR GOALS, and practicing your skills until they becomes sharper than a sword. Remember, you're a warrior in this world! And since often times, your greatest enemy can be yourself, make sure your head is clear, focused, and has vision!

As artists, we must remember that it is imperative to nurture our talents - not degrade them. We should also protect them with the same amount of passion that we would use to protect our body from physical danger. Yes, our mind is connected to our body so why should that be any different? Do you want to become a vegetable?

Also, what I'm saying sort of interweaves with being a leader instead of a follower. You know, as creative people, sometimes we become bored easily and therefore, don't like to be caged into becoming labeled as just one thing. Most of the time, a model becomes an actress or a dancer becomes a singer, or we have what we call the "triple threat" and even the "quadruple threat" because some people enjoy doing a little bit of everything. So the next time someone says to you, "You're a Jack of all traits but a master of none," tell them, "My having more than one talent is actually the quality of a genius." Or don't say anything at all. It's whatever floats your boat, but the point that I am making is that as creative individuals, we should never allow others to demean our mission or try to devalue the divine gifts that we've inherited through spirit. Our talents are God's life force working through us to continue expanding our consciousness, joy and love for life!

'Til next time... Enjoy the journey!

Oh! And when you get the chance, google the pioneer of Becoming Your Dreams: Mr. James De La Vega