THE SUN OR THE MOON:
A Lover's Choice
Written by Jasmine Clemente
Lynx removed a cigarette from his Newport pack, desperate for a smoke as we rested on a park bench during the cities most silent hour. “You’ve never seen twilight before?” He asked, looking up at the fuchsia tinted sky.
"Uh-uh... I've never seen it before 'cause I've never seen it wit' you," I nuzzled my head beside his chest, welcoming the musky perspiration that reeked through his T-shirt on that sticky summer night, or should I say morning?
Sitting comfortably with Lynx, I kept my focus upon the astronomical spectacle above us. I didn't know what he was thinking, but I felt that there was something bewitching about the alignment of the sun and the moon, as if witnessing twilight together was heaven's way of mirroring back the bond between man and woman - between Lynx and I.
“Yo, I forgot to tell you something,” Lynx fumbled inside of his dungaree short pockets for a lighter; then set his stick ablaze.
“What?”
He turned to me with his big, hazel, puppy dog eyes and released a smoke-swirled-sigh. “My DVD player died and passed onto digital heaven."
Coughing, I waved the smoke away, "Aye Dios! Lynx! Por Favor. Do you have to blow that shit in my face?" I complained, although I had to admit that I found his still-a-kid-at-heart goofiness kind of cute. Digital Heaven? Amused, I maneuvered myself to sit on top of him, wrapped my legs around his waste and removed the cigarette from his mouth.
“Pen ditto,” I sympathized, tossing it over the bench. “You love watching movies! But maybe it’s time we make our own.”
In shock, he excitedly slid his hands underneath my blouse and unsnapped my bra from behind for easy access to my breasts. Smoke seeped into my clothes as our physical contact heightened with summer’s heat, and despite his nicotine scent, his kisses were a breath of fresh air.
After we cooled down from making out, I rested my chin upon his shoulder and noticed an unspeakable beauty in the distance. Across the river beyond the park, white feathered birds migrated amidst the heights of Manhattan's skyscrapers, soaring into an array of golden ray's beaming from window to window. Once they flew passed the city buildings, they peacefully landed near our bench.
“Can I kiss you again?” Lynx asked, breaking me out of a trance.
“Why you asking?”
“Because I'm try'na be a gentlemen.”
A Gentleman? I thought. If only I were a lady.
I felt torn between lovers. That’s right. There was someone else who'd been outta sight, outta mind. And now my guilty conscious howled like a wolf to the moon, enforcing my transformation from good girl to bad. Nevertheless, I tamed the noise and feverishly attacked Lynx behind playground gates, inspired to let loose in the wilderness. I sucked and bit his flesh, groping his skin as if my life depended on it. I even lowered my head down to the front of his jeans, wanting to unzip them with my teeth. Although I knew he was amused, he pulled my face back up and flipped my body upside down, throwing my legs around his neck. I screamed humorously in fear that he'd drop me, but he held my waste so tightly that his fingers dug into my skin, almost cutting me.
“Don’t worry. I won’t let you fall,” he promised.
I lifted myself back up and pulled his scruffy, bearded cheeks towards me, unsure of whether to playfully smack him or grab him for another intense lip lock. But just then, as we were about to make love underneath the stars, a suppressed feeling emerged.
“Stop, wait a minute.” I backed up a little.
“You always do this to me," I reminded him. "We have a great time together, but then you fuck’n disappear. You do this shit every time and you only call when it’s con –
- Why you bringing this up now?” he interrupted, removing a corona from the six-pack that lay on the ground beside his tattoo inked leg. “Shit, there’s a cop car.”
I flinched, but he kept me steady where I was. “Fuck ‘em.”
Behind thick patches of bushes and trees, flashing red lights circulated the area just outside the park perimeters. At least we had on clothes so we couldn’t go down for public indecency, although my sweat pants were loose enough to slip right off since I'd been sleeping in them before his phone call had awoken me earlier that night.
“Come see me,” was the first thing Lynx said.
“I can’t. It’s late.”
“So?”
“What do you mean, so?”
“So what?” He replied.
“So what, is that I’m already in bed. I’m staying home.” I enforced.
“Where’s home?”
“You know…I’m still living with my ex. We keep going back and forth but we haven’t officially ended it yet.”
“So come out. I’ll pay for your cab ‘n we’ll talk.”
“I don’t know Lynx. I have some family issues right now... I think I'm gonna go back to sleep.”
“Sleep? Stop acting like a little viejita and tell me what’s up.”
“No.” My voice fell to a whisper.
“I bet I know what it is,” Lynx took a drag from his cigarette before continuing. “We went through this before but I’m a say it again. You have to let go of certain people. ‘Nah mean? But you can’t cut your family off forever. Temporarily, yes, but not forever. Now dude's, dude's is another story. They come ‘n they go. Ya heard?”
“Yeah, I hear you,” I replied.
“Look, bottom line is this…” Lynx inhaled again. “Take some time for yourself because if you stay too close to certain people, you’re gonna lose your identity. That goes for family, friends, and whoever. Just detach yourself from the titles that cling you to them meaning sister, brother, whatever. It might sound a lil' cold, but if a relationship is toxic or unproductive, you should let it go for your own peace of mind.… you feel me?”
“Yeah, I feel you,” I rolled a strand of hair around my finger.
“Damn, Lynx, you dropped a lot of knowledge and I’d love to see you but it just wouldn’t be right.”
“Why not?”
I shook my head. Did he not care that I had a boyfriend? “What do you mean why not?”
“Why not?” He insisted.
I sucked my teeth. “Well, come to think of it, my boyfriend hasn’t called me all day and...”
“... And you know what you gotta do! Get your ass in a cab ‘n come to Greenpoint. Whatever it is, I got you, ma.”
I hesitated before speaking. “I... I... I don’t think... It's just that, it ain't right, Lynx.”
“Why not?”
“Don’t start this shit again,” I chuckled.
“Fine. But if you change your…”
“…Alright, alright, I’ll come. I’ll run to the corner and catch a cab. See ya soon.”
It was now or never. My man wasn’t home and that made it easier for me to bounce without having to riddle an excuse. After searching my closet, I decided to keep on my sweat pants and go sporty. I then flew down the steps and locked the door behind me.
Ah, fresh air. I finally felt free as I hailed down a cab by the street curb.
We arrived beside a neighborhood bar a quarter after midnight finding Lynx waiting out front. In a matter of seconds, he'd already manage to slip a twenty dollar bill through the crack of the cabdrivers window, followed by him yanking my arm onto the pavement. Before I could even get a hello in, he threw my slender 5 foot 5 body against the brick wall and kissed me as if we hadn't seen each other in years. A crowd of chain-smoking, onlookers continuously peeked at our indecent behavior but Lynx didn’t care who watched. I laughed nervously in between collarbone pecks, pleading for him to take it easy but just like a wildcat, expert at catching prey, he'd captured me. When we finally released our love lock, we walked into the venue and ordered drinks. I was an Amaretto Sour kind'a girl and he was a hardcore whiskey warrior - Jack Daniel being his preferred choice of the night. In the center of the room, a young lady flirted with us, winking our way whenever she'd lean down to hit a ball with her pool stick; her busty cleavage distracting us by our stools. Was she a lesbian? I pondered. Lynx was obviously handsome, but her demeanor portrayed a threes company kind'a gal.
(To be continued...)
